My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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