Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
We named our party play list daddy issues
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
the raccoons are back...
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