Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
