you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
