This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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