Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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