Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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