So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
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Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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