is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
