I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
