all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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