party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
