Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Randomize
