so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
