Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
