HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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