I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
