you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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