Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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