when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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