I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
