well I can't set my house on fire every night
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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