There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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