I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
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Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
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You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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