Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We need to get me chipped asap
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
