I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
