But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
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Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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