how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
