how hairy? two words: wookie tits
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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