Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
