Im at strip club and am horny
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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