Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Help. Why am I so naked?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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