you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
