Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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