just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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