I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
