dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
