So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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