I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
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He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
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The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
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