you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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