Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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