He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
