Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
