You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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