What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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