Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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