my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
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the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
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i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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