Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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