also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize