She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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