question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
