Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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