So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
