OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm at about main and main street
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
