Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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